Tungsten and some snogging
by King Arthur Weasley
Summary: Lots of snogging and some randomness. There is a graphic sex scene, but we warn you so you can skip it if you want. Sirius and Alice Longbottom James and Lily
1. Room of Requirement

Sirius and Alice looked at each other and nodded. They concentrated together on the ideal romantic room, Sirius imagining mirrors on the ceiling so that he could see himself, and Alice imagining candles and a king size bed with satin sheets and rose petals strewn upon it. Before long, a deep red door trimmed in gold appeared before them. Just as Sirius was reaching for the doorknob, however, he heard a sneering voice behind him.

"scathing insult" said Lucius Malfoy.

"retort" retorted Sirius.

"_spell!_" cried Lucius, pointing his wand at Sirius.Sirius ducked quickly, feeling the spell whoooooooooooosh over his head..

"derisive taunt" taunted Sirius derisively.

"spell" cried Alice, and Lucius fell to the ground, completely frozen. With Lucius out of the way, Sirius' hand returned to the doorknob. Filled with anticipation, he turned the doorknob, and entered the room, taking Alice along by the hand with him.

"marvels at the room" said Alice.

"agrees" agreed Sirius, and indeed the room was magnificent. It was everything they had dreamed of, and more. Alice happened to glance up.

"Why is there a mirror on the ceiling," asked Alice dubiously. Sirius stammered for a bit, as the possibilities ran through his head.

"So I can see you better, my beauty," he finally answered.

"Oh, that's so sweet," cooed Alice. They paused for a second, looking into each other's eyes. Sirius seized her and kissed her with all the pent-up passions of the last forty-five minutes.

When he released her, she murmured, "It seems so long since our after-lunch break." Sirius grunted assent, and pulled Alice to him again, this time their bodies met as well as their lips. They were crushed so close together not a single slip of parchment could slip between them.

"You're as sexy as a pesto covered penguin," said Alice. Sirius chose to ignore this comment, and kissed her again. He ran the tip of his tongue over Alice's still-closed lips, and felt them part slightly. Sirius chuckled inwardly, reflecting that women were always eager with him. Just then, an unconscious Argentinean fell through the roof. This hurt a great deal, as the roof was made of mirror, and the floor above it of stone. He was soon followed by a dwarf dressed as a nun - I mean Dumbledore.

"How do you do? My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore," said Dumbledore. Hastily, Sirius tried to wipe Alice's lipstick off his face, to little effect. They were too stunned to ask why Dumbledore had introduced himself after knowing them for so long. "Well, you had better get the sex over with quickly if you plan to make it to Herbology on time," commented Dumbledore mildly. He magically cut the Argentinean down and dragged the unconscious man with him out the door.

"Herbology - ugh. Why don't we just skip it?" said Alice hopefully.

"For the sake of your prodigy, you should go," foreshadowed Sirius.

"And Professor Sprout will give us detention if we cut," replied Alice, totally ignoring Sirius' foreshadowing.

"BUT…" said Sirius ominously, "we COULD continue in Herbology.."

"How?" asked Alice dubiously.

"What about in History of Magic, then? We have it right after Herbology."

"Okay," agreed Alice. And they left the Room of Requirement, each smiling at their own inner fantasies of the lesson soon to come.

Herbology was uneventful, and they soon made their way to History of Magic, holding hands and making every effort to make love with their thumbs. In History of Magic, Professor Binns began his soporific drone. Before they fell too deeply asleep, Alice and Sirius ducked under their shared desk. Don't ask why Sirius wasn't sharing a desk with the other marauders, because I don't have an answer to that.

"We'd better be quiet," said Sirius unnecessarily to a silent Alice. She nodded agreement, knowing that someone could awaken at any moment. True it was highly unlikely, but it WAS possible. Alice remembered one time when she had been sound asleep in History of Magic, when all of a sudden -

"Alice!" whispered Sirius in an irritated tone, "Come back to earth for a minute, please." Alice shook her head to free the cobwebs that so frequently entered it in this classroom. In fact, there was one time when Binns had been babbling something about spiders when -

"ALICE! Will you quit spacing out?" whispered Sirius fiercely, "Whatever happened to our burning desire?"

"Oh - right," replied Alice.

"Now, where were we?" asked Sirius rhetorically. Tenderly he unclasped her robes and slipped them off her shoulders. "My, my, my, said Sirius, "Aren't WE a naughty girl?" he said/asked, seeing that she was wearing nothing underneath.

"Dare I ask what you chose to wear under?" queried Alice," Sirius smiled as he took off his robes to reveal…. Author's note: there is a graphic sex scene coming up, so if you don't want to read it, just go on to the next chapter.

Sirius was also wearing nothing underneath. "He's got a huge talent!" quoted Alice from "Moulin Rouge." And sure enough, Sirius was hard as a rock, and had been since entering the Room of Requirement. He was glad that robes covered so much. "Mmmm…" said Sirius, running his eyes over Alice's body.

"Not thinking about yourself again, surely?" asked Alice, teasing Sirius about his notoriously vain nature. Sirius merely chuckled, and bent to enclose her nearest nipple in his mouth. He teased her, sucking and licking with the lightest of touches, and felt her nipple become erect beneath his touch. When he wanted to Sirius could be very patient, and he continued to ignore his own growing sense of urgency as he turned his attention to her nether regions.

Alice eagerly parted her legs, and Sirius separated her moist pink lips to taste her. She was tangy, salty and unique all at once. He moved to her clitoris, and as he began to tickle that secret node of doom with his tongue, she felt herself begin to shake and spasm with pleasure With impeccable timing, he sensed when she was ready, and pulled himself up to enter her at last.

She felt completely filled, as he felt her warm and uniquely female embrace. He began to thrust, in and out, quicker and quicker, until they were both frenzied with passion. He felt himself beginning to come, but held back, waiting for her. But he didn't need to wait long. She was moaning as quietly as she could, and just at the moment of her climax, Sirius let himself have the release that his body so craved. As their bodies relaxed, she felt his juices flood her.


	2. Tungsten?

Little did Sirius and Alice know, Peter had been watching the whole time. Although he had been excited at the prospect of seeing Alice naked, his enthusiasm had quickly turned to jealousy as he watched Sirius enjoy all the secret parts of her body that he, Peter, would probably never even glimpse again. His jealousy of Sirius at this moment was actually what later drove him to become a Death Eater and betray his friends.

Since they had gotten away with their "escapades" in History of Magic, Sirius and Alice decided to "do it" again in Transfigurations the next day. They were busy snogging under the desk, and Lily and James were engaged in "similar activity" nearby. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, Lily glanced from her seat across the room to where Sirius and Alice were "at it." Also inexplicable was the reason why Professor McGonagall chose that moment to call on Lily.

"Miss Evans, what is the spell to transfigure a lemon shark into a key chain?"

Relieved that McGonagall had not glanced her way a moment earlier, Lily smirked, "Go ask Alice when she's ten feet tall." She was referring to an unfortunate incident involving a Stretching Potion (it was the user that stretched, not the potion itself), and she accompanied this comment with a pointed glance in Alice and Sirius' direction.

"Goodness!" cried McGonagall when she saw what was going on underneath the desk. "Black! Made-up-maiden-name-for-Alice! DETENTION!" she practically roared.

Sirius and Alice glanced at each other, startled, but glad that they were not to be expelled. But then, McGonagall dropped her next bombshell.

"AND, we shall be seeing the headmaster about this, immediately after class, should you two be willing to get dressed for the opportunity." The class laughed as Alice and Sirius blushed, but, after what seemed like an eternity, the lesson continued. The whole time, Alice and Sirius were nervous wrecks waiting to learn of their punishment.

When the lesson was over, she snapped, "This way," and they obediently followed. When they reached the stone griffin leading to Dumbledore's office, McGonagall said, "Cauldron cakes," and the griffin-door jumped aside. They rode the stone spiral escalator in silence, and McGonagall knocked when they reached the door at the top.

Sirius and Alice made another attempt at snogging while waiting for Dumbledore to answer the door, but unfortunately, McGonagall looked behind her and caught them at it. She had just opened her mouth to issue a fresh reprimand when a voice called pleasantly, "Come in." McGonagall closed her mouth quickly, glaring at them before turning to open the door.

"Minerva, I am already aware of the situation," said Dumbledore as McGonagall approached his desk. "the punishment for this case will be the same as it was for Benjamin Lewis and Amanda Leal, who also attempted to, er, 'do it' in class six years ago."

"What is the punishment then?" asked McGonagall impatiently.

"Tungsten," Dumbledore said simply.

"Tungsten?" queried Sirius, Alice, and McGonagall together.

"Tungsten," repeated Dumbledore. "You are to work in Professor Flitwick's tungsten mines every Saturday for the next month."

"Professor Flitwick has tungsten mines?" asked Alice dubiously.

"Yes. You will report to the professor this Saturday promptly at nine."

"Nine at night?" asked Sirius stupidly. Dumbledore merely gave him a stern look over the top of his glasses. (Dumbledore's glasses; not Sirius'. Sirius doesn't wear glasses anyway.)

Then, Dumbledore dismissed them. McGonagall turned to leave as well, but Dumbledore stopped her, saying, "Minerva, please stay."

But since this story follows Alice and Sirius, I don't have to tell you what Dumbledore said to McGonagall. HA-HA!

Sirius and Alice met James and Lily in the Gryffindor common room. Or rather, they caught them snogging in the common room. When Alice saw Lily, her eyes narrowed. "You…you stinker!" insulted Alice lamely.

"Is that the best you can do?" taunted Lily, rising to the occasion. "So what's your punishment?"

"Tungsten," said Sirius glumly.

"Tungsten?" asked James, allowing himself to be drawn in.

"Tungsten," said Alice equally glumly. "And it's all YOUR fault," she said, pointing at Lily.

"MY fault!" exclaimed Lily. "YOU two were the ones trying to have xes - I mean sex, under the desk! I merely pointed it out to McGonagall, who would have seen it sooner or later anyway!"

All of a sudden, James burst into song, almost as if this were a musical.

James

COME WHAT MAY,

COME WHAT MAY,

I WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL MY DYING DAY.

"What the hell was that about?" asked Sirius.

"Oh, he's been doing that periodically ever since he got hit by a hex from Snivellus," Alice informed Sirius.

"What hex is that?" Sirius queried.

"_Cantablilis_," said Lily simply.

"Perhaps we should take him to Madame Pomfrey," suggested Alice, grievances against Lily forgotten.

"No, it's bound to wear off any moment now," Lily reassured her, "and besides -"

James

SUDDENLY SEYMOUR

IS STANDING BESIDE ME,

DON'T NEED NO MAKEUP,

DON'T HAVE TO PRETE-E-END!

"How did you even know that song, James? It's from an AMERICAN musical, after all," pointed out Sirius.

"I don't know it," explained James, "that's part of the hex - I sing songs I don't know."

"…A visit to Madame Pomfrey is looking better and better…" thought Lily aloud. And she and James departed, leaving the already-snogging-again Alice and Sirius in peace.

They were rapidly approaching the hospital wing, when all of a sudden, Lily pulled James into the nearest lavatory and began furiously kissing him with all the pent-up passion of the last ten minutes. When she temporarily freed James, his hair even more rumpled than usual, he said, "Can we go elsewhere? I hate snogging in the bog."

Lily quickly agreed, and they searched for a convenient corner. Before long, they were snogging in the hospital wing, when suddenly, James did something sure to draw attention to them.

James

BILLY, DON'T BE A HERO,

DON'T BE A FOOL WITH YOUR LIFE,

BILLY, DON'T BE HERO,

COME BACK AND MAKE ME YOUR WIFE

"…If you get any gayer-sounding, I'm going to dump you," warned Lily


	3. Naked Time

James

I HEARD HIS FIANCE GOT A LETTER,

THAT SAID HOW BILLY DIED THAT DAY,

THE LETTER SAID THAT HE WAS A HERO,

THAT SHE SHOULD BE PROUD THAT HE DIED THAT WAY,

I HEARD SHE THREW THAT LETTER AWAY…

"That's it!" cried Lily, exasperated. "I'm dumping you! Now we'll never get married and have a son named Harry who will save the world from Lord Voldemort!"

"What? Who? When? Where? Why?" asked James.

"Thank you so very much for enumerating the five W's," said Lily sarcastically.

"But - Lily- we can't break up!" James exclaimed, running his hand through his hair in agitation.

"Oh, alright," conceded Lily, "but only because your hair's so wonderfully disheveled. I always thought it was sexy, even if it does annoy me occasionally…it's turning me on just looking at it…" And, before James knew what had happened, Lily was once again furiously snogging him. (Yes, this whole thing IS about using the word "snogging" as many times as possible - very similar to the sixth book in that way.)

Just then, they heard footsteps coming down the hall. They quickly broke apart and tried to look casual James appeared to be trying a little TOO hard, going so far to as to shove his hands in his pockets, stare at the ceiling, and actually whistle.

Before long, Peeves appeared, dropping blackboard erasers as he went. The sound it made was remarkably like footsteps, which was probably what Peeves intended.

"Ickle Jamiekins and his sweetie - what COULD they have been doing, I wonder?" Peeves said, laughing maliciously.

"Peeves, I'm going to kill you!" threatened James.

"Kill me? You can't - it's one of the advantages of being a poltergeist! Hee hee hee!" laughed Peeves in delight.

"Oh, bugger off!" retorted Lily.

"So, Lillers wants to be alone with Pottie-poo…hee hee, I think I'll go tell McGonagall." And with that, Peeves floated away, not neglecting to drop an eraser on James as he floated over their heads. As Peeves went, he began singing yet another of his rude ditties:

"Oh, snogging in bathrooms were Evans and Potter,

He thought he was cuter, but Lillers was hotter,

Then McGonagall came and that teacher she caught 'er

And sent Lil to detention along with that rotter."

"How did he know about what we did in the bathroom?" asked Lily.

"Who cares?" said James irritably. "Listen, you'd better split. I'll go see Madame Pomfrey about --"

James

WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE,

A YELLOW SUBMARINE, A YELLOW SUBMARINE --

"Will you STOP THAT!" Lily said over him. "That's the most annoying song yet."

"No, there are more annoying songs - like this one:" said James.

James

I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES,

AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES;

I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS --

"Really!" exclaimed Lily. "It's annoying enough without you doing it on purpose!" She stormed off, leaving James wondering what he had done wrong. Shrugging, he set off to Madame Pomfrey's.

Madame Pomfrey was in the process of examining James. "Now, I need to examine the rest of your body - NAKED TIME!" And then they had sex. Just kidding! I do SO enjoy faking the reader out. Madame Pomfrey finished examining James, and gave him a potion to take.

"You may go now," she informed him.

"Er - can I put my clothes back on first?" asked James.

"No, the potion only works if you wander the castle naked for the next twenty-four hours." James was shocked, but an idea quickly came to him.

"_Accio Invisibility Cloak!_" he shouted, and the cloak came zooming. He fastened the cloak about him. Madame Pomfrey looked a tad disappointed.

"Oh, very well. It would have been funny, though," she said. And so, James spent the rest of his Friday and part of the next Saturday wandering the halls naked, but invisible.


	4. The Snogging Oak

Meanwhile, at promptly nine the next morning, Sirius and Alice reported to Professor Flitwick in his Tungsten mines. At breakfast they had received an owl each, with a letter disclosing the well-kept secret of the location of the mines. So here they were, standing a cautious distance from the Snogging Oak - a tree which tried to snog anyone who came near it. Professor Flitwick arrived shortly.

"Well, well, let's get started then, shall we?" he asked. Sirius and Alice didn't feel nearly as cheerful as he sounded. Without further ado, Flitwick walked up to the tree and began snogging it with all his might. Alice found herself wondering if it had lips or not. But before long, they heard a click, and an narrow door popped open where previously the tree had been solid. "In you go," directed Flitwick, and they reluctantly descended the stairs into a gloomy interior lit dimly by torches in brackets on the wall.

Seeing that they were alone, Sirius ventured to ask, "Who works the mines normally?"

Flitwick replied, "Oh, I get enough sixth and seventh year students caught snogging - or worse - that I'm fairly well-supplied with workers. Or should I say - SLAVES! MWAHAHA!" Sirius and Alice were startled, having never seen this evil side of their Charms teacher before. Before they had entirely gotten over their shock, Flitwick was pointing to a pair of pickaxes resting against the dirt, beam-supported wall.

"You are to use these to mine the tungsten, and put it in that" - he pointed again - "cart over there. And remember: NO MAGIC! I will know if you do not follow this rule." And with that, Flitwick left them alone at the end of the corridor. This proved to be a mistake, for Sirius and Alice quickly began to snog.

Flitwick, did, however, check up on them after a couple of hours, and the pair broke apart rapidly. "Hmm…" he mused suspiciously, "I don't see any tungsten in the cart."

"Er, terribly sorry sir, but we don't even know what tungsten IS," Sirius said, "let alone how to mine it."

"Oh, very well, I shall show you." Flitwick took Alice's pickax and proceeded to swing it at the dirt wall. But while his back was turned, Sirius and Alice began to snog again, with all the pent-up-passion of the past thirty seconds.

"Now," Flitwick began, "The important thing to remember about a pickax is how to say the word in Gobbledegook. It's _bladvak_, and coincidentally, it's the only word of the goblin language that Ludo Bagman knows." Flitwick didn't notice what was going on behind him, nad soon left the snogging couple in peace.

When he came back a little later, and asked again why there was no tungsten in the cart, Sirius fobbed him off again, saying that they hadn't understood Flitwick's instructions. So Flitwick showed them again, and thus, the day continued that way, and so did every Saturday until the end of term

This fanfic's long enough, so on that lame note, I must say, THE END.


End file.
